The Food Network has “Healthy” happily printed across a picture of The Pioneer Woman’s Strawberry Oatmeal Bars recipe. Hooray! I need to eat healthier. You see, my doctor recently told me I had high cholesterol, and said that he was very disappointed in me. I told him, “Hey, you’re not the boss of me!”, and left his office. I then went home, made myself a martini, complained to Jackson Brownie (my dog) that this doctor knows nothing about nobody, and then scoured the internet for healthy recipes because ultimately I’m a people pleaser, and I want to make my doctor proud. Well, I found Strawberry Oatmeal Bars, and it said “healthy“, so I made them. They were very easy to make, and I had all of the ingredients. As they baked in the oven a “healthy“, buttery aroma filled the kitchen. I could hardly wait for them to cool completely before cutting into them. I held a warm square of “healthy” goodness between my fingers, and took a bite. They were decadent. They were yummy. They were sweet. If this is what healthy is then I never want to be unhealthy again. As I was reaching for another square the phone rang. It was my doctor. He told me that they were not healthy bars. And that just because they contain oats doesn’t make it so. And that the amount of butter in the recipe cancels out all of the healthy goodness. He also said that he’s even more disappointed in me than ever before. Continue reading →