Holding my son and becoming a mommy for the first time.
My husband and I are very, very lucky. We got to experience a beautiful adoption with our 1st son, and a beautiful pregnancy with our 2nd. I did not think I would ever experience child birth, and for a long time I did not think I would be able to experience motherhood. I could go on and on about how painful labor is, but there is enough information on the internet about that. This is the story about how sweet Cameron came into our lives.
I suffered for a couple of years with infertilty. I could get pregnant, but I couldn’t sustain the pregnancy. It was awful. It was sad. I felt like a failure. I think what was most maddening was that my doctors could not tell me why this was happening. After the 8th miscarriage we decided to adopt. We went with the agency American Adoptions. Adoption agencies can be pricey, but they offered the help we were seeking. The amount of paperwork to be done, while putting together a profile of our lives is quite daunting, so we desperately needed guidance and American Adoptions was able to give just that. We officially started the paperwork in October 2009 and by January 6th 2010 our profile was being submitted to potential birth moms across the country. We were “paper pregnant”! We didn’t know when and we didn’t know how, but we knew that there would be a baby at the end of this journey. I felt like I could finally breathe.
Now, what happened next is quite unusual. Our profile was being viewed starting on January 6th and on January 13th we got a call from the agency that a birth mom had chosen us. She was having a boy and she was due in 2 months. Best. Day. Ever.
The next 2 months was quite a roller coaster. We flew down to Texas to meet our “potential” birth mom. I remember seeing her walk into our hotel lobby before she saw us. She had a reserved look on her face, almost like she didn’t want to be there. I found out later that she was just as nervous to meet us as we were to meet her. We went out to dinner and asked each other questions. By the end of the night I was pleased at how our first meeting went, but I wasn’t confident. The next day she took us to her check up so as to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It was there that she invited us to be in the room with her when she gave birth.
An induction date had been set for Tuesday, March 2, 2010. Since a giant snowstorm was to hit our area the Wednesday prior we decided last minute to fly to Texas, so as not to miss the birth. We arrived in Dallas on February 24th and the following night we got the call that she was in labor. Labor is no joke – that’s what I learned while watching this beautiful, generous person writhe in pain. We tried to comfort her as best we could, but it didn’t help. Finally, it was time to push. We all surrounded her bed and cheered her on as she worked tirelessly during this final stage. Suddenly Cameron was there in the doctor’s hands. He was screaming and perfect. I could tell the nurses didn’t quite know who to hand the baby to as I don’t think they had dealt with potential adoptive parents in the labor room before. It was our birth mom who said in a quiet, but loving voice, “I want Liz to hold him first.”
It has been a little seven years since Cam’s birth. He is so “us” that now I can’t believe I didn’t give birth to him. I call him my hero baby, because he saved me when I was at a very sad point in my life. Cam’s birth mom is also my hero. Our relationship has gotten even stronger. We keep in touch through texts and phone calls. We send each other gifts and photos. We love her. She is our angel. I have noticed that a lot of people don’t understand this part of adoption- the openness. All I can say is this, we are a different kind of family, but we are still a family and she will forever be a part of it.
Drop me a line if you have any questions on adoption. I would also love to hear your story, adoption or not, on how you came to meet your baby.
Here is a video of when we announced to our family that we were chosen by a birth mom, and when Cam was born.